Aunt E: A letter too late in the writing

Dear Aunt E:

Good Christian lady, loving wife, mother and grandmother, daughter, sister and aunt extraordinaire:

I should have told you this sooner.

There is something I’ve thought about for years, on and off, especially around holidays or family get-togethers and it concerns you.

“Hello, Tommy. I’m Jane’s Aunt Yvonne. Just call me ‘Aunt E’. Everybody does.” Those words…that’s how I remember them… were first heard by me almost forty years ago. Aunt E, you were the first person I remember making me feel a welcome part of the Buford family. Now this goes back to before Jane and I were even married…barely dating, in fact, all those years ago. I can’t remember if it was a Thanksgiving, Christmas or other ‘event’ holiday or just one of those ‘meet the boyfriend’ things that all young people must endure, but I clearly remember your presence and the way I felt accepted and ‘invited in’ by you. I’m sure I never thanked you for that. I thank you now.

How many times since have I seen you ‘rescue’ some new girlfriend, boyfriend, friend friend or casual acquaintance of one of your children, nieces or nephews who found themselves walking into a new set of people and feeling out of place? I’m not the only one you were the first to make welcome over the years. Not by a long shot. Fact is, with you in the room, everyone there felt more welcome. Not many people have the gift to make guests feel comfortable and welcome in a new and strange setting. I doubt you thought of it as a gift…I doubt you thought about such things at all. It’s just who you were.

At Thanksgiving, year after year, I saw what was commonplace at our family shindigs….you, helping prepare the food, then working the room amongst the ‘new people’ (there are always a few guests at a Buford family function), welcoming them and pushing them to the front of the food line, as you worked your way back, back, to the end of the line. First to give, last to receive, and then only reluctantly. Thanks for setting that kind of example.

I don’t know if I could count the number of times Jane or I received a ‘little something’ from your hand or in an envelope to take along on a vacation, to celebrate an occasion with a ‘nice meal’ or because you didn’t feel like the gift you had just presented was quite ‘enough’. Generous…always generous. In watching you interact with your nieces, nephews and friends of same, one who didn’t know better could easily come to the conclusion that these were your own children. For these and so many more examples of your kindness, generosity and love, I want to thank you.

I’ve said nothing of your famous…well famous in our family at least…pecan pies and Bourbon balls. Wow. Thanksgiving without Aunt E’s pecan pies and Bourbon balls…unthinkable.

Aunt E, you took us by surprise. There’s a lesson here, no doubt.

On December 19, 2005, Yvonne Buford suffered a heart attack. That night at the hospital Jane and I had the honor of standing with the Buford family as they said ‘goodbye’ to their wife and mother and to our Aunt E. as she passed from this life on earth to eternal life with God the Father. The peaceful feeling in that room was remarkable as the welcomer became the welcomed – into an eternity for which she was well prepared.

God bless you, Aunt E. I will miss you.

With love,

Tommy